Swimming Upstream -"they look like the angels" but... babysitters say.....

When our kids were small, they were the terror of the church to baby-sit.  Between Tia’s plots, Abi’s quickness and Alex’s big eyes they could wrap a babysitter around their fingers “toot sweet.”

The favorite trick was to  con the sitter into following Abi out the back door.  Abi would then shimmy up the drainpipe to the second story window while Tia would keep the sitter arguing at the back door.  Soon the sitter would realize she’d be ‘had’, calm down, and outwait them. Or the time Tia yelled out loud enough to be heard next door “I hate you, you don’t get to tell me what to do- I’m smarter than you and I am only six”.  Abi was known for being quick to get them to chase him (seldom catching him) and sweet enough to then convince the sitter that they were "the best sitter ever".  Alex was a few years younger so he just cried and used the pitiful puppy look to get his way.

Why didn’t I correct these behaviors?  We didn’t know about these specific incidents until years later when our kids told on themselves.  The baby sitters didn’t “narc” on the kids.(wish they had)  We had several sitters- some more frequently than others but none that refused to return.

What did we do on those occasions we found out what they pulled?  We disciplined. We tried to fit the punishment to the crime.  If it was the mouth that was in the wrong we either put soap (think all natural w/o additives, goat milk soap- nasty tasting but not harmful) on their tongue and then counted to ten before they could spit it out or we flicked their chins. Flicking a chin is not harmful.  It stings the skin but the sensation fades in about 5 seconds.  We did this more frequently as they got older.  (flicking is taking the thumb and second finger and snapping the finger against the chin.)

If it were their actions we tied it to the action: you fought w/ the sitter about doing the dishes?  Ok, now you get to wash all the silverware in the drawer by hand and then clean out the drawer.  You threw a toy at her?  Fine, all the toys go into a box for a week.  You get the idea.

There will always be people who assist you in the training of your kids.  Some will need little supervision and some will need too much.  There will be times when your child is the ‘terror’ and times when the adult is in the wrong.  How you deal with these differing situations will make a large impact on your child and who he becomes.  Getting to know the teens in your church will help.  If they get comfortable with your family and with your children, they will know the best ways to effectively interact with your kids at the tough times.  One of the biggest helps is making certain that the sitter is loaded with common sense.  If you have strong willed children as we did, you will need a leader personality.  Don’t expect a quiet, calm, introverted follower to corral strong willed extroverted kids.  Not if you care about your children or the sanity of the sitter.

"they are all better Now"