Swimming Upstream - Rule of 5 - chores and children

Chores the rule of 5 

We had smart kids and felt they needed to be kept occupied. We also believed in teaching them to be self-sustaining, independent, and capable of whatever they were asked to do.  We chose to train them in how to make wise decisions by analyzing the cost and consequences of choices early on.  We taught them to do chores by the time they were four years old.  How?  Well, we incorporated it into our daily life.  We would have Tia pick up the dishes and hand them to me after dinner.  Abi would bring in kindling for the wood stove at Grandma’s house (usually 3 rather small pieces at a time).  Alex might be required to help clean the kitty litter box with me.  Key phrase on all of this level of chores is “With Me”.     Of course, it was easier to do it myself but it wasn’t about what was easier, it was about what was best for our kids. 

So we made up and developed the “rule of 5” by age 5 for each of them.

  They followed the 5-finger rule until they were in their late teens. ( Remember teens are similar to toddlers- short memories, short attention spans, short tempers.) It was marvelous.

When they were preschoolers we posted a sign in their bedroom that I based off what my mom had taught me.  The poster was visually blocked into 3 columns.  The first column was a picture I cut out of a magazine or drew in a very simple manner.  The second column had the word associated with the picture in column 1.  The third column had the number that we were associating with the chore.                                                                                          

• Picture of bed  nicely made = BED   #1       
• Picture  w/ arrow pointing to toy box  = TOY  #2
• Picture of laundry basket or dresser = Clothes #3

You get the idea.

Based on years of hearing children saying “I forgot what to do”.  “I didn’t know what to do next” or “I lost track of what you wanted me to do”.  We limited it to 5 items only on their chore list because--------- every child has 5 digits on his/her hand.  Yup, that simple.  Children are very object lesson based.  So, we would hold up our hand, count the digit, compare it to the poster, name the chore, and identify the number that went with the finger.  Then we would teach them what we meant on the poster.

“BED” – (each time we went over what was a part of the chore line).  Put your pillow at the top of the bed, pull up your sheets and blanket and BED = done.

TOYS – pick up all toys lying around the room and put them into the toy box.  Done.  Other chore parts were changed as needed to adjust for their level of maturity, understanding, and the type of items in the room.  So, for one child it was:

·        BED  ( pull covers up neatly)

·        TOYS ( into toy box)

·        CLOTHES (dirty into hamper, clean into dresser)

·        TRASH (picked up and put into the trash can)

·        FLOOR (sweep or vacuume).

 We did this chore list together from age 5-6.  By the middle of kindergarten, they could do their own rooms most of the time.  The problems arose in the following areas: I couldn’t always help them.  It that occurred they weren’t held liable for completion but when I next went into their room we would have a one minute meeting about how well they had done and what needed to be remembered next time.  I tried to keep these chores to under 10 minutes a day.  They are small people with short attention spans after all.  If the pace of our lives was too hectic or the room had been too ‘loved’ by them or their friends I would come in while they were gone and do the lion’s share of the work, always leaving a small amount of work for them to do.  

By tying in their hand with the picture, word and number on the poster we were including more senses, utilizing various learning styles, and working on mnemonics.  It also became a game for my competitive ones.  How many fingers can you get done before Mom comes and checks on you?  Doing this type of chores also taught them to be self directed because they could see what needed to be done and check it off visually  and tactilely. By verbalizing the poster/hand connection we were encouraging the audible learners and by assisting them we included the kinetic learner.  The visual learner had the poster for their base of memory. 

 Doing this each day helped them to understand they didn’t need to wait for Mom to tell them to “clean your room” so they could do it ahead and be free to play as soon as it was done.  We had one child who liked to do it right after getting up in the morning; freeing up the afternoon.  Another child preferred to do their room just before dinner and another liked to clean just before bed so the toys were all ready for bed.  (No, they didn’t jump for joy at the opportunity to clean their rooms, they, like us do it because it must be done.)  We just listened to their voices to adjust the schedule to best integrate it with their personalities.

This also provided an important affirmation; by being able to compare what was done they could ascertain how far they had gotten and feel a justified sense of accomplishment.  We as adults need this at work as do our children.Never forget, chores are "work" to kids. This builds a strong work ethic and a true self -esteem.  After they had a strong understanding of the 5-finger rule we would work up a poster for each room of the house.  The living room 5 became:

·        Toys  (taken to their rooms)

·        Trash / Truck (pick up whatever needs to be disposed of or truck it to the proper room : newspapers, magazines, empty wrappers, shoes, sweaters, etc). 

·        Dishes (take all dishes to the kitchen and put them in the sink)

·        Floor (sweep, mop or vacuum as needed)

·        Furniture (put pillows where they belong on the couch, fold lap blankets and lay on end of couch etc.)

The bathroom 5 were:

·        Sink (wipe out w/ paper towel and cleanser)

·        Trash (empty trash can)

·        Commode  (seat down?  Wipe off tank w/ cleaner and paper towel, put cleaner in bowl and then use scrubber once around, flush) (@ the beginning level it would be -seat is down and flush it)

·        Laundry (take laundry basket to laundry room)

·         Floor (sweep or mop)

The kitchen 5 included:

·        Food  ( leftovers into the fridge)

·         Table ( wash off table and pull chairs up to the table)

·         Dishes ( dirty dishes into the dishwasher, clean ones put away into the cupboard -they did not do pots or pans until they could lift the pan w/ one hand).

·         Counter (this was the wipe off counter and sink after dishes are all washed and away) 

·        Floor  ( sweep, mop as needed)

Please understand that they were 7-9 years old by the time they were doing these chores and we had taught them, trained them and guided them through learning how to do these chores safely and completely.

We discovered the Rule of 5 could be applied to almost all chores.  

Car: trash, toys, truck( truck it to the proper room), tuck (tuck the items that belong in the car back where they go) wash (wipe sticky spots off)

Laundry -sort into 5 piles: white, bright, dark, delicate, dirtttty (think sports uniforms)

Yard work: mow, edge, weed, water, truck (what doesn’t belong here – take it where it belongs.)

 

Go ahead try it, remember to make it easy, visual and do-able by a short attention spanned child.  As they mature you add depth to each of the 5 items.  Let’s examine Dishes from the Kitchen 5.  When they are 5-6 this means handing the dishes to Mom so she can rinse them and put them into the dishwasher.  By ages 7-8 this includes rinsing them, loading the dish washer w/ dirty dishes and putting them away when the load is clean.  By age 9-10 they are also responsible to wash the pots and pans.

  

Our kids are now all adults and are fantastic at analyzing a job and seeing what needs to be done.  They are able to identify the major factors, see what the logical steps are in the process and are able to train other workers to do likewise. They have developed strategic thinking skills that each uses in their jobs on a daily basis as well.

Why is this an important enough skill to share with you?  Because I believe we are responsible before God to train our children, to enable them to become competent workers able to succeed in whatever field they choose.  Training them in work ethics has to be practical and not just a lecture delivered at the table.  They also no longer live in the country where there are enough chores to keep an entire family busy morning to night.  Now they live in cul-de-sacs with 3 bedrooms, 2 baths and a small yard.  
Their time is spent on learning teamwork (sports), developing hand-eye coordination (computer games) and social interaction (school/church/other organizations).  However, I feel we are not training them completely at home for success as adults.  I believe this lack is due to time constraints, over booking our families with all of the “necessary” activities and a true lack of knowing what/how to teach them inside the home. So chores may not be “needed” but children “need” chores.